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14/9/2017

Why a new start at 50?

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    So why did I reinvent myself at 50 and why should every man, divorced or not, do the same? The answer to this comes in two parts, which I will explain shortly. In essence, we as men tend not to take a step back and think about how we look to others, this in turn leads to us seemingly never evolving our look as we get older.
    The other reason is quite simply, the positive affect that dressing better has upon us.  This was all too true with myself, having found myself divorced and approaching 50, I was depressed and not in a great place mentally.  My divorce had taken its toll on me both financially and mentally and I soon realized that only my actions could change my situation.
    So, I took a look at myself, did some reading online and started following people on social media that I thought were of interest. It wasn't long before I became aware that the clothes that I was wearing were very different to those that I wanted and that much of this was simply due to the fact that I was dressing more like a 30 year old rather than someone nearing 50.
    Take the following photos as an example. Both sets of photos give a look at my attire before and after my reinvention, I looked slovenly and gave of an air of " I don't really care about how I look ".
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    I feel certain that most of you would have answered yes to the first question. Now I am not suggesting that you are desperately trying to cling to your youth or attempting to appear as the "Cool Dad", but that is probably how you come across to others.
I believe that most men, particularly those in or like myself, just out of long term relationships, have a tendency to simply coast along, never taking the time to think " How do others or even my significant other, view me? ".
    This scenario all too often leads into a sense of low self esteem and depression, which in turn can lead to relationship break downs among other things. My own situation, as the photo's show, saw me in my late 40's but my clothing suggesting I thought I was much younger. I knew my age but my clothes did not reflect that. 
    A t-shirt emblazoned with large graphics, a hoodie and white sneakers is attire more in keeping with someone in their 20's or 30's. Whereas, wearing a short sleeved shirt and thinking I had taken some effort to look good, just makes me look slovenly.
    Now I certainly do not claim to be a George Clooney clone, but I do think it fair to say that I now look better, smarter and more age appropriate. I am sure you are familiar with the term ' Mutton dressed as lamb", well that term applies to us guys as well.
   So I ask you, to have a look at yourself and your wardrobe and to ask yourself two questions.  Firstly, does my wardrobe consist of essentially the same type of clothes or wore in my 40's, 30's or dare I say 20's?. Secondly, what does the way I look say about me to others?
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    The other thing that comes with dressing yourself smarter and more age appropriate, is how different you feel. Dressing better will always leave you feeling better about yourself. Take a look at my stance in the photos, wearing jeans and t-shirt my stance is slouched, whereas in the adjoining pic I am standing more upright. This is done on a subconscious level and is a reflection on how I feel about myself.
    It comes as no surprise that feeling better about how you look to others has a dramatic and positive effect on your self esteem, which in turn helps to combat melancholy. So as a way of fighting depression, changing the way you style yourself  and the way in which other see you, really is a simple and effective way to begin. Whilst it has often been said that "Clothes maketh the man", don't let it end there. Reinvigorating your image goes way beyond updating your wardrobe.
    Next time you are getting your twice yearly haircut (You really should be getting it cut every 6-8 weeks.), speak with your barber/hairdresser about making a change. They will be able to make suggestions based upon your age, your face shape, your hair type and even your personality.
    I bet you haven't changed your hairstyle in years. As well as your barber, use your computer or smartphone and search for haircuts for 50 year olds to get some  inspiration.  There is so many stylish men over 50 that there is simply no need to look like an old man either.
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Men such as George Clooney (L) and Nick Wooster (R) show that you can be stylish and over 50
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    By the way guys. Embrace your age, do not pretend you are still 35. Whilst we are not all as genetically gifted as the likes of George Clooney or Nick Wooster, we can still look good at 50 and beyond. For me, having grey hair in my 30's ( well actually my late teens) was not something I felt proud of, I am now happy to rock a head of grey. If the Clooney's and Wooster's can do it so can we.
    As for wrinkles. Your supposed to have some, I mean how foolish do those 50+ year old men look with their post facelift skin stretched taut across their face. By all means avoid premature aging with the aid of a good personal care routine. All men should have a routine that involves the use of moisturizers developed especially for men.   
    Now the other thing that I am yet to mention regarding reinvigorating your look, is for those who like myself are starting to date again, surely it makes sense to look your very best. Dressing up, rather than down not only imbibes you with more confidence but it also exudes a more confident air. 
    You will appear to be someone who has their life in order, someone who takes pride in himself and therefore others too. The end result is quite simply, you will appear far more attractive, which after all is the whole idea when dating.

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1 Comment
Jason
15/9/2017 01:10:13 am

Good points Mark. Good troosers shoes (there is still a place for trainers) leather lace up a smart jacket. He clean shaven. Have confidence ooze charm. But most of all be a chap!

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    Divorced and nearly 50 I rediscovered who I was.

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