Life Rules For Men

    Everybody likes to think of themselves as a good person. In today's ever changing world, the concept of toxic masculinity and what makes a man, has been debated constantly.
    Indeed, in the wake of the Weinstein affair and the Me Too movement many men are now questioning their own actions and are confused about what is expected of a man. The male role may be changing, however, the basics of being a good man have not.
    I have compiled a list of rules that I feel are timeless and reflect the values and actions of a well rounded, happy, contented and good modern man. 
    My 50 years upon the planet has seen me gain a modicum of wisdom and as I write this list, I do so with the thought of sharing it with my own son, so feel free to do so with any burgeoning gentleman in your life.

• Never shake a mans hand while you are seated.
• When shaking hands, look them in the eye and use a firm grip. A firm grip does not mean trying to break all the bones in his hand.
• If you are asked to keep a secret, keep it a secret unless doing so endangers someone.
• When borrowing a car from someone, always return it with a full tank of fuel and in the same or better condition as when you took delivery. If borrowing for an extended time return it washed and clean.
• Never turn down the offer of a mint.
• Dress up not down. Remember that dressing up will make you feel good and not to do so in an attempt to show off or show others up.
• Family matters. Stay in touch and do everything you can to heal a fractured family.

Dress up not down

Carry a handkerchief or two

• Think of what is between you and the earth and buy good quality shoes, bed sheets and car tyres.
• Good manners are free and will always be remembered.
• Respect both yourself and other people.
• Give credit when due and accept the blame when you do wrong.
• Be humble.
  
• Always carry a Handkerchief,  preferably two. The second one is in case your significant other may need to mop a sweated brow or wipe their nose. 
  

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Keep your shoes polished

• Keep in touch with old friends.
• Ensure your shoes are polished and well maintained and your clothes clean and pressed.
• Never allow a feud to simmer. Man up and do what is needed for a resolution.
• Always be the bigger man and don't harbour grudges.  Apologize, forgive and move on.
• Never make a phone call whilst angry, nor send an email or letter when angry. Write the email, re-read it the next morning and send it after you edit it again.
• In an argument, don't try to have the last word unless it is to apologize.
• Do not spread gossip.

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Don't over do the cologne

• Ensure you smell nice, but never overdo the cologne.
• Think of others. Remember, the joy of others is contagious.
• Learn to genuinely accept and like who you are as a person.
• Never stay quiet about injustice, inequality or prejudice.
• When you see someone in need, don't stand back and watch . Step up and help.
• Never judge someone based on a preconceived notion of who they are.
• Discover and experience new things and places.

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Quality over quantity

• Appreciate the hard times for the strength they will bring you.
• Understood that not all disabilities can be seen. An unseen disability is still a disability.
• Make a bucket list and continue to edit it each year.
• Quality over quantity works every time.
  
• Always err on the side of compassion.
  
• Become a volunteer at least once in your life.
  
• Time spent with your children is worth infinitely more than a higher income.
  
• Never forget about yourself. Treat yourself occasionally, just because!
  

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Listen more than you speak

• It doesn't matter how long you have been together. Go on dates with your partner.
• Ultimately you will be remembered for your actions, not your wealth and assets.
• Don't be late, aim to arrive 10 minutes ahead of time. If however you are unavoidably detained and running behind time, always contact all parties concerned as soon as possible and never later than 10 minutes before the scheduled time.
• You have two ears and only one mouth. Listen more and talk less.
• Always carry some cash.
• Age with dignity. Remember, that growing old is better than the alternative.

A good overnight bag is a must

• When buying clothes, factor in additional tailoring and make sure you get them adjusted to fit you right. (i.e. sleeve and cuff length as well as darts in/out in your shirting.)
  
• Never go to a party or dinner party empty handed.
• Buy yourself a good quality overnight bag.
• Know at least one good icebreaker or conversation starter.
• Learn how to cook. At the least know a few basic dishes both savoury and sweet.
• Be alert to mental health and know the signs and what /where to go. This applies to both yourself and those around you. Understand that accepting mental health issues is a sign of strength not weakness.

A good skincare regime is a must

• Always be there for family and friends. Offering a shoulder to cry on or a good ear is better than losing the people in your life.
• Respect service people and those working when you are not. Bar personnel, police officers, paramedics etc are working unsociable hours and offering you services.
• Keep abreast of current affairs and politics. No need to bean expert, just keep yourself informed.
• Remember that being woken up at 2 am to give someone a lift, a hand or an ear is far better than being woken at 3am by the police.
• Look after your skin . Establish a personal care routine using products designed for men.
• Say hello to people and smile.

    I am sure that  you may feel I have missed some things, however at the very least my list here is a good starting point. Most of these suggested rules apply to people of any gender and age.
    A quick look over my list and I realize that there are a few items that I could focus more on myself. That in itself is a reminder to all that,n on occasions we forget and sometimes need reminding of our very own advice.