DIVORCE AND MENTAL HEALTH (pt 1)

  I'm sure that most people are well aware of R U OK Day. For those that are not, R U OK  is an organization in Australia that promotes discussion on Mental health and suicide.  At its core, is encouraging people to ask friends, family and workmates if they are O.K and in doing so, help to prevent suicide and to offer a friendly ear to those in need of help. There are a number of wonderful organizations that are available to offer help to those dealing with fragile mental health and R U OK is but one. I will post links to some other organizations throughout this post.
  The reason I brought up R U OK  first is I too am hoping to encourage discussion. Like so many men post divorce, I have had my share of dealings with the what Sir Winston Churchill referred to as the Black Dog. In fact, for much of my life, like so many people, I have had my fair share of battles with depression. However, for now I shall discuss how mental health affects both divorced men and men in their fifties.
  Of course, for many men of my age, admitting that you are struggling with some mental health issues would be a sign of weakness and non manliness. The first thing we need to understand though, is that this is far from the truth, after all we find it quite acceptable to claim that we are in fact dying when struck down with "Man"Flu, yet when struck down with an illness that claims an alarmingly high number of lives, we expect ourselves to toughen up and push on through it. It is important to note, that I am not a Mental Health professional, but someone who has lived through bouts of depression and seen loved ones struggle with their own battle.
  Divorce and the breakdown of any long term relationship, can be expected to leave anybody in a fragile mental state. Going through divorce, even one as amicable as mine was, is a harrowing experience at best. Your sense of self worth is likely to be at an all time low, your life has been turned upside down and all too often your financial security is under threat. From my own experience I recommend that anybody going through divorce, a relationship break up or any other traumatic experience, seek some advice from your regular doctor or at least get in touch with one of the many mental health services available online or by phone. Chances are that you will be fine, but why risk seeking advice too late. Most individuals who get diagnosed with depression, regret not seeking help sooner. The fact is that "feeling sad" is only one of the symptoms.
  It is also important to understand that it is quite normal to have days when you feel down occasionally and that having the odd down day is not necessarily an indicator that you are depressed, it just means your are normal.

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  SIGNS AND INDICATORS OF DEPRESSION
  For most of us, depression just means being sad all the time,however there are many more symptoms that can help with an earlier diagnosis and a simpler and quicker treatment.The reality is that many people who are battling with depression do not feel an overwhelming sense of sadness.
  Certainly  feeling unhappy and sad are indicators, but so too are feeling overwhelmed with little things, being irritable and grumpy ( Grumpy Old Men we are), frustration, guilt, disappointment and lacking any confidence. In some people this manifests by way of anger and aggression towards those around us. Often thoughts like "I am useless/worthless", " Nothing good ever happens to me" and "People are/would be happier without me around" and "Whats the point? It is all so hard" will come to mind.
  Physically there are also indicators too. Feeling tired , sleeping all the time or not being able to sleep, feeling sick and run down more often, headaches, muscle pain, no appetite, sudden weight gain or weight loss.
  Another wonderful organization that can help with Mental Health is Beyond Blue. On the Beyond Blue website is a great Anxiety and Depression Checklist that can help determine if you ( or a loved one etc) is affected by depression.
 

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   WHAT TO DO IF I THINK I AM DEPRESSED?
  The first step is to acknowledge that you may be depressed and that if so, it is NOT a sign of weakness. The next step is to seek professional help, this can be done in a number of ways and it need not be done alone. Often finding a mate who is a good listener and willing to help can make the world of difference. Some may find the idea of seeking help very hard, a good mate can help by listening, organizing appointments, even providing transport options if needed.
  Going to your local GP is a simple way to begin. Your GP will be able to offer advice and possible referrals to mental health professionals.  Needless to say, you should already have a regular GP you trust and with whom you feel comfortable with.So talking with them is a great way to seek help.
  If however, you feel that you are ok and would like to learn a bit more before seeking professional help, then one of the many organizations like R U Ok, Beyond Blue, Black Dog Institute, or Lifeline can be a wonderful source of information.
  However, if you feel your needs are much more urgent or thoughts of self harm have crossed your mind, you should immediately by phoning Emergency Services. (In Australia, call 000).
  Other numbers in Australia are;     
Lifeline 131114,
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467,
Beyond Blue Support  1300 22 4636